Having actually been happily wed (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I can not help but ask myself more regularly whether my love is blind. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? The next concern I have actually been asking is whether it had been great that my love is blind.
I found an interesting area in the book “An Intro to Favorable Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?”. What you will find in the rest of the article is based upon what Compton composed together with my ideas.
In our minds, really typically, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called “favorable romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions describe why we ignore the faults of our partners therefore enamoured of them.
While it holds true that these impressions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can likewise reinforce with times, albeit with different qualities.
In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the impressions vanish completely, it may cause ultimate marital break up. Thankfully, most of the times, the impressions might damage however do not disappear entirely. The remnant impressions may help to weather the storms in the relationships.
In the latter case, the marital relationship may stay strong although there may be lots of situations and incidents that may wreck a weaker relationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept numerous obvious faults and mistakes, and even peculiarities, of our partners. Let us analyze why this occurs.
It has been discovered that couples who idealized their partner’s characteristics, or had actually overemphasized beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were excessively optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were likewise more stable and lasted longer.
These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:
It is through the positive romantic impressions about our partners that discuss why we select our partners and not somebody else.
The favorable romantic impressions about our partner assist us to stay with our partner even throughout hard times and under otherwise damaging conditions.
We might continue to intentionally keep a prejudiced favorable view of our partner so regarding preserve, or perhaps boost, the relationship.
There is mutual improvement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other.
People are more dedicated to partners who see them in positive light.
Must the stress present in the couple’s life lead to pressures in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions may start to fall apart, leading each partner to understand they have been tricking themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic impressions, the relationship can then degrade very rapidly.
General then, it is good for couples to preserve the favorable romantic impressions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the delights of romantic love.
In our minds, really often, we have pictures of our partners that are unreliable. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These impressions describe why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.
The residue illusions might assist to weather the storms in the relationships.
We may even increase our willingness to accept lots of obvious faults and mistakes, and even peculiarities, of our partners.
from AllAbout https://allabout.pw/2-is-love-truly-blind/
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